I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You are the jesus of drinking
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
