Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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