Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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