38 yer olds are good kisserssss
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
