from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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