i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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