Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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