well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
