i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Maybe he injected his testicle?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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