How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
