My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
