nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
