a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How external is "for external use only"?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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