So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have fence marks all over my body
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
