Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There's always time for handjobs
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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