Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
