We named our party play list daddy issues
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
