So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
