I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
