She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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