Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
