is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
