dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
