Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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