It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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