Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I can text with my tongue
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My penis needs a shock collar
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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