marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
