So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
last night I used snow as a chaser
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