I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
you made out with another girl for some wings
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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