when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
its not stalking. its research.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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