I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
