at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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