so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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