I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
birth control should be required to get into college
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
