I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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