xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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