No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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