did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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