I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
