Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
