forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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