I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
