Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
