At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
