Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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