this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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