For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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