just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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