and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
