Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
