we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
