I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
