She is in my trunk
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
